Dismayed at his recent lack of total and utter success, Finkeltron has finally decided to file a civil lawsuit against Satan. Jon claims that Lucifer has broken a contract first signed 4 years ago, in which Finkel forfeited his ever-lasting soul to el Diablo in exchange for the title of best Magic player of all time.

Jon says “Recently I started to become nervous when I had a lull in winning premier events. Though the damn Devil just assured me that he couldn’t make it too obvious, and I shouldn’t worry. Then I started hearing about this 'German Juggernaut'. 4 Pro Tour wins and a World Championship!! I mean seriously now, what type of fool does that horned pansy take me for. I had been in league with the Devil for so long and we had such a good working relationship, I began to trust him. Believe me, when I say ‘Never trust the Unholy Lord of Darkness’.”

The Prince of Demons retorted “Jon clearly violated a very important clause in our contract from below. He was bound by the contract to be an ‘unpleasant fellow’. You know.. scowl a lot, push over the occasionally little kid, simple as that. Oh he started out demonic enough. Though as time progressed, I realized he just wasn’t fit to be my Avatar of Evil in the Magic community. He couldn’t help being a nice guy.”

Finkel was reportedly shocked when he first heard the news of Kai’s ascension to the best Magic player of all time, though he quickly began plotting his revenge. Rumors abound that he elicited the services of Steve OMS to try and rub out his successor. Unfortunately for Jon, Beelzebub caught wind of his plot and sent 3 angels of death to guard his new protégé.

When Satan’s lawyer was reached for questioning, he appeared to be under the influence of several forms of narcotics. He would only confirm that his employer was filing a counter suit, asking that Jon be sent to hell for his own contract violations.

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Dismayed at his recent lack of total and utter success, Finkeltron has finally decided to file a civil lawsuit against Satan. Jon claims that Lucifer has broken a contract first signed 4 years ago, in which Finkel forfeited his ever-lasting soul to el Diablo in exchange for the title of best Magic player of all time.

Jon says “Recently I started to become nervous when I had a lull in winning premier events. Though the damn Devil just assured me that he couldn’t make it too obvious, and I shouldn’t worry. Then I started hearing about this 'German Juggernaut'. 4 Pro Tour wins and a World Championship!! I mean seriously now, what type of fool does that horned pansy take me for. I had been in league with the Devil for so long and we had such a good working relationship, I began to trust him. Believe me, when I say ‘Never trust the Unholy Lord of Darkness’.”

The Prince of Demons retorted “Jon clearly violated a very important clause in our contract from below. He was bound by the contract to be an ‘unpleasant fellow’. You know.. scowl a lot, push over the occasionally little kid, simple as that. Oh he started out demonic enough. Though as time progressed, I realized he just wasn’t fit to be my Avatar of Evil in the Magic community. He couldn’t help being a nice guy.”

Finkel was reportedly shocked when he first heard the news of Kai’s ascension to the best Magic player of all time, though he quickly began plotting his revenge. Rumors abound that he elicited the services of Steve OMS to try and rub out his successor. Unfortunately for Jon, Beelzebub caught wind of his plot and sent 3 angels of death to guard his new protégé.

When Satan’s lawyer was reached for questioning, he appeared to be under the influence of several forms of narcotics. He would only confirm that his employer was filing a counter suit, asking that Jon be sent to hell for his own contract violations.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!