As reported by fellow Magic: the Gathering news affiliate www.mtgnews.com, longtime card artist Rebecca Guay was fired due to her work being "too feminine." When consulted via telephone, new Magic art director Jeremy Cranford elaborated that Ms. Guay's art was "not sexy enough."

"What has annoyed me about [Guay's] art is that the women featured on her cards just don't have any sex appeal," said Cranford. "Just contrast, say, Priest of Titania with the new Pacifism. What is the 'priest' doing? No sexy pose, just standing there with clothes on; I guess she's adding mana to the pool, I can't tell. Now on Pacifism, its apparent that the soldier can't attack or block because he's distracted by Akroma's ample breasts. I see no large, mana-providing chest on Priest of Titania. And we all know from recent movies that elves are hot, and Guay's elves are mediocre at best."

When asked about possible negative repercussions within the Magic-playing community, Crawford was quick to dismiss them. "People didn't like the Eighth Edition face-lift, but they couldn't do anything about that either. Why are they so upset? I mean, I'm doing a service to all the geeky Magic players who will probably never see a real, live, enormously-breasted woman. They want a fantasy game, and I'm giving it to them."

When pressed about the vision that Cranford holds for the future of magic, he replied in earnest. "I think that cards such as Akroma and the Seventh Edition Serra Angel are most definitely the way to go. Who would complain if you lost to an Angel with double-d's? I wouldn't mind being hit by one of them. I do believe that Guay had the right idea in her illustration of Gaea's Blessing: there should be more naked women on Magic cards. I so desperately want to see one [more]. However, even in that picture the woman wasn't very hot."

"Guay's works just don't appeal to a male audience," continued Cranford. "I took trips to countless card shops and interviewed a vast amount of players that used cards with sexy characters in their constructed decks, cards like Convalescent Care and Phage, the Untouchable. They all agreed that they would like to see larger breasts on Magic characters, especially on the new foils since they would look cooler than their Yu-Gi-Oh foils."

When asked for further details on why Guay was fired, Cranford replied, "As I stated before, her cards are just not appealing in the least. Gaea's Blessing is a let down. Angelic Page? Less clothes are good, but I need close-ups, full-frontal. And Perish? I guess the woman is supposed to be dead, but it would be much more effective if her blouse was torn open and she was covered in ichor or something. Oh man, it would be so good-" The rest of his sentences were obscured by heavy breathing, and were undecipherable.

Already the Magic community is up in arms. Emails are being sent, petitions signed, and boycotts planned. In response to this, Wizards of the Coast issued a statement:

"We at Wizards of the Coast respect our customers, and their opinions matter to us. The firing of Rebecca Guay has yet to be finalized, so be sure to buy packs of our future sets to check if any of her art is featured." Sources have yet to confirm this statement as being truth, as many Magic: the Gathering players were highly skeptical of its opening statement.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

As reported by fellow Magic: the Gathering news affiliate www.mtgnews.com, longtime card artist Rebecca Guay was fired due to her work being "too feminine." When consulted via telephone, new Magic art director Jeremy Cranford elaborated that Ms. Guay's art was "not sexy enough."

"What has annoyed me about [Guay's] art is that the women featured on her cards just don't have any sex appeal," said Cranford. "Just contrast, say, Priest of Titania with the new Pacifism. What is the 'priest' doing? No sexy pose, just standing there with clothes on; I guess she's adding mana to the pool, I can't tell. Now on Pacifism, its apparent that the soldier can't attack or block because he's distracted by Akroma's ample breasts. I see no large, mana-providing chest on Priest of Titania. And we all know from recent movies that elves are hot, and Guay's elves are mediocre at best."

When asked about possible negative repercussions within the Magic-playing community, Crawford was quick to dismiss them. "People didn't like the Eighth Edition face-lift, but they couldn't do anything about that either. Why are they so upset? I mean, I'm doing a service to all the geeky Magic players who will probably never see a real, live, enormously-breasted woman. They want a fantasy game, and I'm giving it to them."

When pressed about the vision that Cranford holds for the future of magic, he replied in earnest. "I think that cards such as Akroma and the Seventh Edition Serra Angel are most definitely the way to go. Who would complain if you lost to an Angel with double-d's? I wouldn't mind being hit by one of them. I do believe that Guay had the right idea in her illustration of Gaea's Blessing: there should be more naked women on Magic cards. I so desperately want to see one [more]. However, even in that picture the woman wasn't very hot."

"Guay's works just don't appeal to a male audience," continued Cranford. "I took trips to countless card shops and interviewed a vast amount of players that used cards with sexy characters in their constructed decks, cards like Convalescent Care and Phage, the Untouchable. They all agreed that they would like to see larger breasts on Magic characters, especially on the new foils since they would look cooler than their Yu-Gi-Oh foils."

When asked for further details on why Guay was fired, Cranford replied, "As I stated before, her cards are just not appealing in the least. Gaea's Blessing is a let down. Angelic Page? Less clothes are good, but I need close-ups, full-frontal. And Perish? I guess the woman is supposed to be dead, but it would be much more effective if her blouse was torn open and she was covered in ichor or something. Oh man, it would be so good-" The rest of his sentences were obscured by heavy breathing, and were undecipherable.

Already the Magic community is up in arms. Emails are being sent, petitions signed, and boycotts planned. In response to this, Wizards of the Coast issued a statement:

"We at Wizards of the Coast respect our customers, and their opinions matter to us. The firing of Rebecca Guay has yet to be finalized, so be sure to buy packs of our future sets to check if any of her art is featured." Sources have yet to confirm this statement as being truth, as many Magic: the Gathering players were highly skeptical of its opening statement.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!