Top Ten Magic Headlines That Would Cause Mass Panic
10. Mark Rosewater Signs 20-Year Contract Extension
9. Showers Mandatory Before Major DCI Events
8. Terrible Side Effects of Morphing Include Gonorrhea, Death
7. Goblin Game Named "Best. Card. Ever."
6. Legions to Consist of 142 Creatures With Converted Mana Cost Six or More
5. Mark Rosewater Lone Survivor of Tragic Accident; All Other R&D Members Killed
4. Magic, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh! to Merge Into One Game
3. Magic Declared Illegal in All Countries Except Iraq
2. Swamps Banned in All Formats
1. Mark Rosewater Elected President of the United States of America
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