(Note: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily represent those of MiseTings staff, or anyone else for that matter. Thank You. - MB)

You know what time it is, kiddies? Time for me to vent. Yes, that's right, the one and only MD is back to give the censors some work.

Did anyone catch the European championships back in June? I can't believe I missed that one!!! They should just call that the World Championships, because for my money, ALL of the good players are from Europe. I mean, nothing says "High-Level Intellectual Competition" like a room full of Swedes, Italians, and Portuguese. I'm surprised half of these Eurotrash motherfuckers were smart enough to find their way to the tournament site! Now, if they would only find their way to the fucking deodorant aisle once in a while, the world would be a better place.

Speaking of Eurotrash, have you seen this guy Anton Jonsson? Apparently the dude slings a MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN magical card, having made top 8s in a bunch of PTs after all the good Americans stopped caring. But, seeing as how I'm not qualified to talk about his skillz with the cardboard crack, I figured instead I would fire off a blast about homeboy's haircut. ANTON, HOMES. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR. STOP LETTING THE DUTCH BOY CUT YOUR HAIR. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THE HANSON BROTHERS! I swear this dude is the poster child for dudes who live in their parents' basement. And I don't give a shit if he has a job or owns a house or whatever, look at the dude and tell me doesn't look like he sleeps with the DM guide under his pillow. That's what I thought, asshole.

It's been a pretty slow couple of months, though. It's like this every year during the Regionals/Nationals/Worlds period, the time when TOs stop holding PTQs and gamers don't have to take any time off from Everquest, casual gamers retreat back into their basements and hole-in-the-wall card shops after their impressive 1-2 performances at regionals, and guys like me have little to get their ranting juices flowing.

It appears that MTGO is now the latest craze. Gamers sit on the CPU and draft/trade 24/7. I almost did the free draft, but then I came to a very stark realization: MY LIFE IS ALREADY WRETCHED ENOUGH WITHOUT ASSOCIATING WITH THE LIKES OF YOU FOR 24 HOURS A DAY. I mean, I can't really come up with a proper analogy for what that must be like, but I'm sure it involves putting your balls in a vicegrip somehow.

Worlds is coming up soon. To be honest with you, I'm highly conflicted on the matter. On the one hand, my natural anti-Euro and anti-dynasty hatred dictates that I root against Kai with every fiber of my being. Unfortunately, however, this time around he's collaborating with the Mini-Colony (also known as the GOOD colony), and my homies BR and Kibs. I'm thinking I will probably swallow my pride and root for him halfheartedly, hoping that BR or Kibs can come out on top in the end.

Nahh. I hope the guy gets manascrewed every_single_round en route to the first 0-18 since Jeff Donais. YOU HEAR ME KAI? YOU'RE GOING DOWN. YOU'RE GOING DOWN HARD. I swear to God, if I were blessed with any ability in the cards whatsoever, I would make it my life's mission to hunt him down like the dog he is, defeating him in every tournament he plays in. But alas, I have to rely on a bunch of Euros, Mexicans, and Aborigines to do the work for me. Christ. Someone just shoot me in the head.

Till next rant,
MD

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

(Note: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily represent those of MiseTings staff, or anyone else for that matter. Thank You. - MB)

You know what time it is, kiddies? Time for me to vent. Yes, that's right, the one and only MD is back to give the censors some work.

Did anyone catch the European championships back in June? I can't believe I missed that one!!! They should just call that the World Championships, because for my money, ALL of the good players are from Europe. I mean, nothing says "High-Level Intellectual Competition" like a room full of Swedes, Italians, and Portuguese. I'm surprised half of these Eurotrash motherfuckers were smart enough to find their way to the tournament site! Now, if they would only find their way to the fucking deodorant aisle once in a while, the world would be a better place.

Speaking of Eurotrash, have you seen this guy Anton Jonsson? Apparently the dude slings a MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN magical card, having made top 8s in a bunch of PTs after all the good Americans stopped caring. But, seeing as how I'm not qualified to talk about his skillz with the cardboard crack, I figured instead I would fire off a blast about homeboy's haircut. ANTON, HOMES. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR. STOP LETTING THE DUTCH BOY CUT YOUR HAIR. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THE HANSON BROTHERS! I swear this dude is the poster child for dudes who live in their parents' basement. And I don't give a shit if he has a job or owns a house or whatever, look at the dude and tell me doesn't look like he sleeps with the DM guide under his pillow. That's what I thought, asshole.

It's been a pretty slow couple of months, though. It's like this every year during the Regionals/Nationals/Worlds period, the time when TOs stop holding PTQs and gamers don't have to take any time off from Everquest, casual gamers retreat back into their basements and hole-in-the-wall card shops after their impressive 1-2 performances at regionals, and guys like me have little to get their ranting juices flowing.

It appears that MTGO is now the latest craze. Gamers sit on the CPU and draft/trade 24/7. I almost did the free draft, but then I came to a very stark realization: MY LIFE IS ALREADY WRETCHED ENOUGH WITHOUT ASSOCIATING WITH THE LIKES OF YOU FOR 24 HOURS A DAY. I mean, I can't really come up with a proper analogy for what that must be like, but I'm sure it involves putting your balls in a vicegrip somehow.

Worlds is coming up soon. To be honest with you, I'm highly conflicted on the matter. On the one hand, my natural anti-Euro and anti-dynasty hatred dictates that I root against Kai with every fiber of my being. Unfortunately, however, this time around he's collaborating with the Mini-Colony (also known as the GOOD colony), and my homies BR and Kibs. I'm thinking I will probably swallow my pride and root for him halfheartedly, hoping that BR or Kibs can come out on top in the end.

Nahh. I hope the guy gets manascrewed every_single_round en route to the first 0-18 since Jeff Donais. YOU HEAR ME KAI? YOU'RE GOING DOWN. YOU'RE GOING DOWN HARD. I swear to God, if I were blessed with any ability in the cards whatsoever, I would make it my life's mission to hunt him down like the dog he is, defeating him in every tournament he plays in. But alas, I have to rely on a bunch of Euros, Mexicans, and Aborigines to do the work for me. Christ. Someone just shoot me in the head.

Till next rant,
MD

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!